A Two-Blue Parent Family (And Our Three Children — Yellow, Blue and White)

First Off, The Two Blue Parents — A Bit Of History

We met about 40 years ago and got acquainted by way of introduction.
My friend mentioned to me that there was this girl…so off I went with him on this girl-finding mission.
We met and got to know each other better, finding over the course of a few short visits that we had a lot of common interests.
She was from Eastern Canada, and I from the West, some 1600 or so miles apart. Feeling homesick, she decided to go back to her Eastern stomping grounds.
I let her go without much being said or done to prevent her from going back.
Of course, letter writing was part of the deal, but it worked only so well as I dropped the ball and only managed to send one of the letters I had written. 
Being a perfectionist, I decided I wasn’t doing so well in my writing of letters, so most of them went into the garbage.
About two years later, she came back out West and was staying only two hours away. Her sister told her to phone me. She did and asked if I would like to see her. I told her to come, and we can meet again. We picked up like nothing had changed.
Two weeks and thirteen diamonds later, we were engaged. Two months later, we were married. Three years in, we became parents of our first child (we didn’t know about the Color Code yet). 

Blue Parenting Without Knowing So Until Later

It’s a boy, and he was born in the Eastern stomping grounds of my wife’s past. We had moved there after homesickness had hit her again.
We began to raise our son and could see early on that fun was his M.O.
Anything that was fun was what attracted him.
As he grew up, his need for fun and friends was so great, and this, although quite fascinating to us, was a bit exhausting for us and a bit perplexing, because he was not easy to discipline. If we took something away from him we felt would matter to him and help him come to terms with our direction, he just moved on and found fun through some other means, therefore our desired impact was rendered virtually useless.
Reigning him in to complete his assignments or chores of any kind became a defeated task, as we Blue parents expected so much more than he could personally give. By this time, we were in the know about the Color Code and began to understand better. Life was a lot easier and more exciting.
Upon reflection after all the years and their unknowns, we have a very well-grounded Yellow son as an adult, so we have to believe that we have done a good job of raising him. A big part of this came as a result of using the Color Code to teach and understand one another.
We have adjusted as Blues to understand him better, and he as a Yellow has aligned with our Blue personalities very well and is a treasure in life to so many in our circles.

A Few Years Later, We Enjoy a Beautiful Daughter

We really had a blessing added to our life here as we had a Blue personality daughter who responded very well to any bumping and steering we provided along the way.
The connection is huge to this day, and relating is never too far off in our thinking and actions.
As a little girl, her artistic abilities and pride that comes with doing great art was brought to my attention by her little smile and, “Come see what I did, Daddy”  request…and a trip around the other side of our new Suburban.
Once around to see her art on the side of the vehicle slightly etched into the clear coat, I, although a bit taken aback, had to smile, yet be serious enough to make a point, when I calmly said to her, “It looks great!” Then I proceeded to ask her, “What do we say about writing on the walls in the house?” She replied that, “We don’t do that,” and I replied, “This is like the walls.” Her response was a simple, “OK, Daddy.” I knew to handle it from a state of alarm and a huge, lengthy reprimand would have crushed her.
As she grew, and I as a dad wanted to guide her for her safety in life, I have to admit that I could go on with every angle of every topic we addressed for a long time. I didn’t want my point to be missed in any way, so if I felt I was getting the “deer in the headlights look,” I was on it from a different angle.
This was true with all my children; however, my beautiful Blue daughter decided to leave during one of my lengthy worries being expressed yet another way, and I was left figuring out what just happened. I am pleased I had enough insight to let it be and believe it was not out of disrespect.
Her short letter was an eye-opener for me…she understood. This letter set the stage for better parenting for all my children and connection with their friends. It mellowed my Blue personality reactions a lot.

Blessed With Our Agreed Gift — Our Third — A Daughter

White as Yoda.
Whenever we got into a discussion that she really felt the need to address, I could tell I was to be bested regardless of the topic of concern. 
It wasn’t a power struggle so much as it was a digging in by my White personality daughter who felt beyond a doubt she had to be heard and understood.
She was very easy to raise and so calm in nature it oozed out of her; however, as a young adult, if she needed to set things straight to realign her life in our Blue personality minds so she could reset that calm over the present issue, she was by far the most challenging.
We had to let it go most of the time and trust that for the most part she had the foundation of good judgement and things would work out well — and things have.
Although all our children increased our friendship base, our White personality daughter brought us into new relationships the most, as she was a natural connector with the patience to bring people together for meaningful events.

Here We Are Now, Beyond the Raising of Our Three Children

As Blue personality parents, we have learned a lot from raising our three children with three different personalities and are so grateful for their education through life. They have taught us in so many ways how to successfully meet the differences we all have as a direct result of our DCMs (driving core motives).
All our children add so much value to our lives and the differences in personalities really are a blessing that is also the spice in our interactions.
Knowing how their personalities work helps so much in knowing where they are coming from and vice versa. This ‘enables’ our relationships that could otherwise be cause for discontent. We have everything to be thankful for in using the Color Code to develop our deeper understanding and appreciation for each other.


Why We All Love Our Independence

It all starts as infants

When we are born we do not cry for independence. We cry for succor. Our very well being depends on it.

Without our natural self will to live; busy parents may overlook for to long many of the needs an infant requires, thus crying and its many forms indicate the need or selfish desire for learned wants, making the response for succor quicker and sure most of the time, ensuring survival plus appeals for more satisfaction happen.

The paragraph above describes a survival method, yet at the same time a form of independence is being cultivated unknowingly by the infant.

In learning how to cry for succor, the infant begins to learn that these cries usually prompt very immediate attention. Out of this, the infant now learns to create a form of independence, in that it now is learning how to control the outcome of the response to learned desires.

True, the infant is unaware of its learned intentions until parenting guides this behavior into awareness.

As a toddler awareness for independence begins

We know all about the term, “the terrible two’s”.

This is the age when curiosity begins to bloom almost uncontrollably. Parents in anticipation of the toddlers need to learn, (now with the independence afforded by the ability of walking) , have put safety and access inhibitors on cabinet doors etc. in order to have some control over the intrusive curiosity driven toddlers desire to learn. The case of “not enough time in a day” starts here.

Many times a lot of fussing comes as a result of the drive for independence the toddler has in order to try to break the barriers to the toddlers unbridled will to satisfy the curiosity.

As parents, the need to have reasonable control over this quest of the toddler for the toddlers sake and their own is all about the lack of awareness the toddler has about this innate independent drive.

All the measures taken and all the training involved from infancy through this stage and beyond is now structure for how independence will be acted on in the future as the toddler grows through the years ahead.

We all love our independence 

The end result of becoming aware of our independence is, we fight for it.

That being said means we have our independence only as a result of others efforts. Our parents taught us, our friends influenced us and our paths always merge with others, even if we are a shut in.

We simply will never have our independence without others in the picture.

True independence

Helping others to achieve, gives us the true independence that rewards us with a life of prosperity, peace, love, kindness, joy and every freedom we wish to have.

Is the path easy?

No… As it takes hard work to reach out and be of true value to others.

Does trying to do it all oneself make it easy? 

Again, no… As it may seem like the path of least resistance, however, it truly is the path that costs the most as it limits one to the smallest world one can have; loneliness, desperation and the feeling of failure, never seeming to be able to reach the measure of success we hope we may get by taking what feels to be the easier road.

How we insure our independence

As we build our lives and do so with our innate independence, we discover that we are more successful when we support the need others have in relation to their own path of independence.

Thus by being properly dependent on each other, adding value to the life of whomever we can, we then find that the reciprocal dependence of others doing similar actions becomes the independence desired by all.

The independence desired by all and what we fight for is to be recognised for our achievements; to have the freedom to act without unsolicited criticism, without being demeaned in anyway through prejudices and the like that tear away the freedom of true independence.

As stated earlier, our independence is based on how the dependency we have had on others develops. If we are still selfish, we have not become truly independent as we are imprisoned by this negativity.

The freedom of true independence comes from our ability to recognize the contribution that others have and will have in our lives and how willing we are to support these ones in their fight for true independence. In the end this path ultimately becomes the reason for personal independence in life and the freedom it produces.

If you are struggling to work out your independence and personal freedom and life has made you come to the point where you want and need answers then click here for your discount personality profile assessment 

The Process ahead

In the process you are about to work with, you will find many answers that enlighten you in relation to who, why, and how you are and why.

You will learn how to interact and understand why people are the way they are and be able to assimilate the differences and be more successful in relationships.

You will learn how to recognize a better path for freedom and true independence as you learn your innate personality and begin to act congruently with who you really are.

Those who you know and will come to know will not be so much a mystery to you as you will now come to understand why they operate the way they do.

Finding the right place for everyone in your circle of influence will begin to develop much easier. Thus being freed from the chains of self doubt that stops your ability to truly be independent.

Continue reading “Why We All Love Our Independence”