It all starts as infants
When we are born we do not cry for independence. We cry for succor. Our very well being depends on it.
Without our natural self will to live; busy parents may overlook for to long many of the needs an infant requires, thus crying and its many forms indicate the need or selfish desire for learned wants, making the response for succor quicker and sure most of the time, ensuring survival plus appeals for more satisfaction happen.
The paragraph above describes a survival method, yet at the same time a form of independence is being cultivated unknowingly by the infant.
In learning how to cry for succor, the infant begins to learn that these cries usually prompt very immediate attention. Out of this, the infant now learns to create a form of independence, in that it now is learning how to control the outcome of the response to learned desires.
True, the infant is unaware of its learned intentions until parenting guides this behavior into awareness.
As a toddler awareness for independence begins
We know all about the term, “the terrible two’s”.
This is the age when curiosity begins to bloom almost uncontrollably. Parents in anticipation of the toddlers need to learn, (now with the independence afforded by the ability of walking) , have put safety and access inhibitors on cabinet doors etc. in order to have some control over the intrusive curiosity driven toddlers desire to learn. The case of “not enough time in a day” starts here.
Many times a lot of fussing comes as a result of the drive for independence the toddler has in order to try to break the barriers to the toddlers unbridled will to satisfy the curiosity.
As parents, the need to have reasonable control over this quest of the toddler for the toddlers sake and their own is all about the lack of awareness the toddler has about this innate independent drive.
All the measures taken and all the training involved from infancy through this stage and beyond is now structure for how independence will be acted on in the future as the toddler grows through the years ahead.
We all love our independence
The end result of becoming aware of our independence is, we fight for it.
That being said means we have our independence only as a result of others efforts. Our parents taught us, our friends influenced us and our paths always merge with others, even if we are a shut in.
We simply will never have our independence without others in the picture.
Helping others to achieve, gives us the true independence that rewards us with a life of prosperity, peace, love, kindness, joy and every freedom we wish to have.
Is the path easy?
No… As it takes hard work to reach out and be of true value to others.
Does trying to do it all oneself make it easy?
Again, no… As it may seem like the path of least resistance, however, it truly is the path that costs the most as it limits one to the smallest world one can have; loneliness, desperation and the feeling of failure, never seeming to be able to reach the measure of success we hope we may get by taking what feels to be the easier road.
How we insure our independence
As we build our lives and do so with our innate independence, we discover that we are more successful when we support the need others have in relation to their own path of independence.
Thus by being properly dependent on each other, adding value to the life of whomever we can, we then find that the reciprocal dependence of others doing similar actions becomes the independence desired by all.
The independence desired by all and what we fight for is to be recognised for our achievements; to have the freedom to act without unsolicited criticism, without being demeaned in anyway through prejudices and the like that tear away the freedom of true independence.
As stated earlier, our independence is based on how the dependency we have had on others develops. If we are still selfish, we have not become truly independent as we are imprisoned by this negativity.
The freedom of true independence comes from our ability to recognize the contribution that others have and will have in our lives and how willing we are to support these ones in their fight for true independence. In the end this path ultimately becomes the reason for personal independence in life and the freedom it produces.
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The Process ahead
In the process you are about to work with, you will find many answers that enlighten you in relation to who, why, and how you are and why.
You will learn how to interact and understand why people are the way they are and be able to assimilate the differences and be more successful in relationships.
You will learn how to recognize a better path for freedom and true independence as you learn your innate personality and begin to act congruently with who you really are.
Those who you know and will come to know will not be so much a mystery to you as you will now come to understand why they operate the way they do.
Finding the right place for everyone in your circle of influence will begin to develop much easier. Thus being freed from the chains of self doubt that stops your ability to truly be independent.