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Relationship building is not easy, here is the secret!

The Secret Everyone Needs to Know and Buy Into For Successful Relationships!
How many of us feel we have been to hell and back many times, however have succeeded in keeping it all together. How is this possible you may ask, when we are living in the age of self indulgence, me first and let your heart be your guide?
If only it was that simple, “Let Your Heart Guide You”. How many relationships are broken up as a result of this elusive belief being acted on?
“Responsibility” is a big word and what comes with it is a very different approach to letting your heart guide you.
Seeing yourself for who you are. How does this relate to responsibility and success in our relationships? The first question to consider is who is Responsible for understanding who I am? The obvious answer is, Ourselves individually. The hard part is getting there.
If we are to see ourselves for who we are, will we not need to consider our limitations in an honest way, and come to understand the truth about ourselves regardless of the revelations we will have to accept; that we may want to keep hidden from ourselves and others? Will we actually be able to embrace; It’s Not All About Ourselves?
Taking time to understand ourselves opens the door to yet another responsibility that is ours to shoulder: that of doing our best to understand others, not being overly critical or prejudiced, allowing differences to become understood and worked with, rather than being relationship challenges.
Although, not perfect, one can be sure that the above responsibilities have to be embraced and worked on everyday, thus developing the lasting quality of relationships through the course of time; doing the same interrelating with all who come into our life circles.
Realizing, It’s Not All About Us”, is a big responsibility we have toward others. How is it that this becomes our responsibility? Simply, that if we make things or life about others; we now are focused on the success of our relationships rather than “whats in it for me”? or “I will follow my heart”, both of which leave no room for consideration of the consequences or aftermath that comes from these shallow life choices. Sacrifice is usually the term used to allow room for others to win thus endearing these ones to us when we put others first in the right ways.
Once we have played the, others first, life choice enough with those we have in our life circles, we then begin to understand them and ultimately, understanding ourselves emerges. When someone does something that brings them attention, what is our reaction? Yes it is that simple if we desire to be honest about ourselves and want to understand ourselves, in that the way we feel inside is what we may need to work on, so as to rejoice when others succeed, instead of being worried overly much about our own recognition.
Many years in would have a lot of give and take in this area of seeing each other through to success in each others ideals, goals, fulfilled or not, however still being supported by one another without constant criticism that would otherwise break down relationships.
How does valuing ourselves relate to our responsibility to keep our relationships strong? If we develop a more correct view of ourselves, we then have the basis on how we are to be seen by others. If we are downtrodden as a result of our life experiences, are we really acting on who we truly are? Would this imbalance create a persona that others would see in a negative light?
How then do we take responsibility, as it is ours, to reassess our self understanding so we have the right opinion and value of who we really are, so that our contributions can truly be of our true selves?
Taking into consideration that life molds us all, we want to do a deep self study of what makes us tick. What are we acting on that is negative and what we need to do about it. Sometimes this takes a humble approach and we may need to let others suggest areas of needed change in our self view so that we will have something to work with that may have been overlooked with our own views.
Many times, we prefer to justify our self worth by our life history instead of taking responsibility for our own lives.
To make long lasting relationships successful, taking responsibility for who each one was, has to happen. This means that an understanding of ones self, helps the way one turns negatives into positives, not acting on impulses of the past, be they learned or part of our personality limitations.
Finally, the big one! Forgiveness. Another big word, however smaller than “responsibility” for good reason. Without responsibility being our covenant with ourselves for all of our actions and the effect they have in our relationships, forgiveness in its truest sense cannot happen. We can say we forgive, however, if we still harbor animosity to any degree about anything that has crossed us negatively, we are not going to be in our relationships as long or as successfully as we may desire.
It has been said that the secret to a successful marriage/relationship, comes as a result of “two good forgivers”. Yes this takes all the “responsibility” we can muster! The secret is revealed!

©Ron Preston
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